"You’re the midwife no-one wants to meet, but I’m really glad I did”
Published: 11/10/2022 09:36NHS Grampian is part of a pilot for National Bereavement Care Pathways, a Scotland-wide project to improve the care and experiences of women and families who experience baby loss.
As part of Baby Loss Awareness Week, the health board’s two bereavement support midwives – one based in Elgin and another in Aberdeen – are keen to share insights into what they do and the support women and bereaved families can expect here in the North-east.
Every year, NHS Grampian helps between 15 to 20 women going through a still birth (more than 24 weeks pregnant), 50 to 60 experiencing a loss after 13 weeks but before 24 weeks and approximately 1,000 going through a miscarriage. They are also there for around eight to ten families who lose a baby within the first few weeks of their lives.
Myra Kinnaird and Marcia Dean work alongside colleagues providing clinical care at Aberdeen Maternity Hospital and Dr Gray’s Hospital in Elgin to offer ongoing support to families following their loss, particularly in the later stages of pregnancy. They are available to all women experiencing a loss by emailing gram.bereavementsupportmaternity@nhs.scot
Myra comments, “A loss is a loss. No matter what stage of pregnancy you are in, it’s an upsetting time for women and families and it is important everyone going through this is offered compassionate care and support by ward staff.”
All baby deaths after 24 weeks of pregnancy are reviewed in Scotland and Myra and Marcia can support families at review meetings as well as attending a follow up appointment with their consultant and sharing the results of reviews with parents.
They provide specialist training to many other midwives supporting women through loss, work closely with local charities Sands and MISS to provide a variety of helpful items to women and families, and offer support to women in future pregnancies – often being the first point of contact for families to engage with maternity services. They can also arrange referrals for siblings to the Archie Child Bereavement Service.
Marcia says: “One of the most important things we do is to act on any feedback from women and families, and ensure we continue to improve the care provided to others going through this difficult time. This sometimes includes changing the guidance we share with staff.
“We couldn’t do our job without the excellent ward midwives and nurses we work alongside. The care and compassion they provide to women and families is second-to-none.”
Women in Grampian experiencing baby loss will always be given a separate, private room. They can keep their baby with them the whole time they are in hospital in Grampian if they wish. Cuddle cots are provided for babies which can also be taken home for short stays with bereaved families.
Reflecting on more than 30 years as a midwife, and more than 20 supporting women experiencing baby loss, Myra explains: “We’ve come a long way but it’s still a very taboo subject and it’s important we talk about it so the women going through it don’t feel alone.
“It’s a real privilege for myself and Marcia to be able to support families with baby loss. The personal relationships we build up over time and the emotional support we offer is hugely appreciated. Some people we may only meet once but speak or email regularly and I think there’s something very special about being there for bereaved families and sharing the memories of their babies.”
Midwifery staff can help families to create a memory box for their baby if they would like to.
Marcia adds: “I’ll always remember one mum saying ‘you’re the midwife no-one wants to meet but I’m really glad I did.’ That sums it up because we meet them at their deepest point and that journey can go on for years. We are always remembered and thanked for the role we had in their lives at such a difficult time.
“We understand the anxiety women may have in a future pregnancy and can be a continued point of contact for families. We can arrange early scans and blood tests in future pregnancies and are happy just being there for women for as long as they wish.”
For further details of many charities who can support women and families experiencing baby loss, visit: Support for bereaved families – Birth in Grampian (scot.nhs.uk)
Pictured left to right: Marcia Dean and Myra Kinnaird